Alright, so you’re getting married. Fantastic. Now that the fun, romantic part is over, it’s time for the really un-fun, un-romantic part: dealing with the government. Because nothing truly says ‘forever’ like filling out forms under fluorescent lights that make everyone look vaguely ill.
Look, I get it. Planning a wedding is already a logistical nightmare of floral arrangements and strategic seating charts to keep your weird Uncle Barry away from your very proper Aunt Carol. The last thing you want to add to your plate is a bunch of legal paperwork. But you have to. So here’s a guide to cutting through the bureaucratic nonsense and getting legally married in New Jersey without having a total meltdown.
Table of Contents
Your Marriage License: The Golden Ticket
First things first: the marriage license. This is it. The most important piece of paper in this whole mess. Think of it as your golden ticket to the marriage club. And yes, the idea of going to a government building sounds about as fun as a root canal, but it’s a pretty simple process if you just don’t procrastinate. You show up, prove you are who you say you are, wait a few days, and boom—you get a piece of paper that makes it all official.
Step One: Finding the Right Government Lair
The first challenge is figuring out where on earth you’re supposed to go. You have to apply for your license in the New Jersey municipality where one of you lives. The office you’re looking for has the ridiculously long name of the Local Registrar of Vital Statistics. It’s usually tucked away in your local municipal building or city hall. Just Google “Registrar” for your town to get the address and hours. And for the love of all that’s holy, call ahead or book an appointment online. Don’t just wander in.
What if neither of you lives in New Jersey? Even simpler. You just apply in the town where the ceremony is physically taking place. Getting married in Cape May but you both live in New York City? Well, congratulations, you’re taking a little trip to the Cape May Registrar’s office.
Step Two: The Pile of Stuff You Absolutely Must Bring
Please, I am begging you, do not show up empty-handed. It’s just like going to the DMV without your documents—a complete and utter waste of a day. Both of you have to be there in person, and you need to bring a small pile of paperwork. This includes proof of identity and age (a driver’s license or passport will do) and proof of residency (a recent utility bill or bank statement works).
You’ll also need your social security numbers. And here’s the weird part: you have to bring a witness with you. This person just needs to be over 18 and, you know, actually know the two of you. They’ll need their ID as well. Oh, and bring some money. The application fee varies by town, so check the price online before you leave the house.
The Official Rules of the Game
Okay, so you know where you’re going and what to bring. Now let’s talk about the actual rules, because New Jersey has a few non-negotiable ones to make sure your marriage is legit. Knowing these now will save you a world of pain later. And if you’re some kind of masochist who enjoys reading legal jargon, this guide to getting married in New Jersey has all the excruciating details you could ever want.
How Old You Have to Be
In New Jersey, the magic number is 18. If you’re 18, the state sees you as an adult who can make their own life choices. End of story.
Now, if you’re 16 or 17, it’s technically possible, but it is a massive headache. You need written consent from both of your parents or legal guardians, and they have to show up and sign a form at the Registrar’s office with you. If for some reason you can’t get their permission, you’re looking at getting a court order. Honestly? It’s probably less trouble to just wait.
The Mandatory 72-Hour “Cooling Off” Period
This one is important, so pay attention. After you submit your application, you cannot get your license right away. The state of New Jersey imposes a mandatory 72-hour waiting period. It’s basically a legally required “Are you really sure about this?” pause.
There is no getting around this. Don’t even ask. You have to plan for it. Apply for your license at least a week before your wedding day—give it two weeks just to be safe. Leaving this to the last minute is a one-way ticket to a full-blown panic attack. Once the 72 hours are up, you can go pick up your license, which is then valid for 30 days.
Finding Someone Who Can Actually Marry You
The person officiating your ceremony does more than just tell a cutesy story about your first date. They have a real, legal job to do. In New Jersey, a whole bunch of people are authorized to do this. We’re talking active and retired judges, county clerks, mayors, that sort of thing.
Religious leaders from any faith—priests, rabbis, imams, whatever—are also legally empowered to perform the ceremony. Even leaders of ethical culture societies can do it. The point is, before you hire someone, just ask them point-blank: “Are you legally authorized to marry people in the state of New Jersey?” A little due diligence now saves you from finding out your marriage isn’t real later.
From “I Do” to “It’s All Done”
So, you did it. You said the vows, you danced badly, you ate way too much cake. You’re not quite done, though. There’s one last administrative step to make your marriage legally official. This is when your license gets turned into a permanent marriage certificate.
Getting That Final, Official Paper
This last part is your officiant’s job. They are legally on the hook for filling out the marriage license, getting it signed by you, your partner, and your witnesses, and then filing it with the Registrar in the town where the wedding happened. They have five days to get this done.
Once that license is filed, it becomes a permanent record. That’s when you can start ordering certified copies of your marriage certificate. And trust me on this: order more than you think you need. You’ll need an official copy for everything—changing your name on your social security card, your driver’s license, your bank accounts, your insurance… the list is exhausting. Having a stack of them on hand will make your life infinitely easier.
A Quick Note on Other Ceremonies
It’s probably worth mentioning that things like vow renewals are just for show. They’re sentimental and a great excuse to throw a party, but they have zero legal meaning. You’re already married, so you don’t need another license or anything.
Also, just for context, New Jersey legalized same-sex marriage in 2013. Before that, the state offered civil unions. If you’re in one of those, you can either keep it as is or go through the standard marriage license process to get officially married, just like everyone else.
So, You’re Ready for a Jersey Wedding
Let’s be honest, the legal side of getting married is a chore. It’s a series of annoying steps, deadlines, and paperwork. But it’s not rocket science. Know where to go, bring the right stuff, and don’t wait until the last minute. Just check the boxes, get it done, and move on with your life.
Because once the government part is over, you can focus on what actually matters: starting your life together. And, of course, the open bar. You’ve definitely earned it.
